As I sit here, an inexplicable sadness is washing over me. Perhaps it’s the fact that I only have a month here left. Perhaps it’s the fact that I didn’t get off my lazy butt to go to Inkigayo. Perhaps it’s the fact that it’s Sunday and that I didn’t leave the dorm all day long. Whatever it is, it’s haunting me.
I’ve not been getting much sleep, but at the same time, I haven’t been all that productive with my time either. Right now, I have tons of things catching up to me. An article that’s due, a speech to present in Korean class, among other things. I’ve been slacking on learning Korean. I’ve been, in general, going out less. I think I may be experiencing signs of a burn-out. Over the past 2-3 months, I’ve been trying to do so much and I think I’ve seriously overdone the physical limits of my body and the emotional/mental limits of my mind.
Wow, getting so metaphysical and wordy here. I think, that as much as I love Seoul and Korea, that it may be best for me to be going back to the States in about a month. The time restraint made me feel really pressured, and I haven’t been able to enjoy as much as I should have here in Korea. Everything seemed like a deadline, and I lived just to check off that little thing I wanted to do on my bucket list. But that shouldn’t be the way to enjoy Seoul. That’s like waaay offensive to such a great city.
Rambling off right now, I’ve added a new place on my bucket list. It’s called Heyri Art Valley, and here’s the link to some good pictures of it. A fellow KU exchange student visited it recently, and I was really inspired by the pictures she took. It’s located in Paju, several hours from Seoul, but it looks absolutely beautiful (as does almost everything else here).
I want to stop it with these sad blog posts, but I can’t. I’ve developed such an attachment for this city – it’s only the 4th place I’ve ever lived at for an extended period of time – and it’s my favorite so far. It’s like tearing a lollipop out of a child’s hands just when she is enjoying it the most. Or taking her most beloved stuffed animal from her. What pain the little girl must feel. I don’t want to feel that pain. Perhaps I won’t suffer the same fate, for I know (almost for certain) that I will be coming back.