So, it’s officially the halfway point of my stay here in Korea. I have two months left. At this point, I am tempted to do two things: 1) reflect on what I’ve done so far and 2) mope over all I haven’t done and won’t be able to do in the remaining two months.
But I will not do such things. I CANNOT do such things. My remaining time here is limited, and I must make the most of it. The simplest things here, such as the plethora of beautiful cafes, random food sellers on the street, cutesy accessory and clothes stores, and the simple existence of Asians (especially Koreans) everywhere, make me so happy and make me feel that no matter what I was doing here in the future, I would love to live here in Seoul.
Something I’ve been feeling lately – I’m so close to everything (kpop stars are living a couple subway stops from me! There are so many Korean guys but I’m too shy to actually talk to them!) but at the same time, so far away. What did I come here to do? There are so many things I wanted to do when thinking about coming here, but I really haven’t done a great many of those things. Sometimes I feel a little bit disappointed about my experience here so far – I have friends who have actually seen kpop stars up close, I have friends who have actually gotten into live music shows, I have friends who have had Korean guys actually taken in interest in them, and the list could go on and on, but I know this is really destructive behavior and that I should just stop right here.
The solution to this all is to just stay here. But I know I can’t do that…at least not for now. My plan for now is to go back to the States after this semester and finish my bachelor’s degree and then come back here to teach English while taking intensive Korean classes. And then I will pursue my acting career here. I’m still a bit iffy about this – it will take more than a little bit of perseverance and dedication to make it as an actress here, and I know myself more than anyone else – I have a weak will. My heart yearns for so much, but my body can only handle so much. Therein lies my greatest dilemma. Stay in the States and have it easy or come back to Seoul and live in what someone told me yesterday was a “exciting hell”? So true, so true – Seoul is exciting in so many ways, but at the same time, its fast-paced atmosphere can sometimes become overwhelming.
I went to Myeongdong with my friend Simon last Friday. Here are some happy pictures and we had kalguksu at a really famous place! It’s really well-prepared noodles with mandu :) And the kimchi was amazing!
What am I doing here? Where am I going? These days I feel really lost and without answers…but maybe that’s the point…